chronicles began...

http://www.theshackbook.com/

2009-04-10T22:28:00.002+08:00

The Shack by William P.Young is one fiction I would recommend you to read.

It is more than a book. It has the ability to heal your broken heart especially if you have just lost a loved one and struggled with your Christian faith in loving & trusting God in your life. Undoubtedly, it answers & deals with boldness on huge issues at the most personal level. God, Jesus and the Holy spirit is personified and The Trinity is amazingly portrayed outside of the typical stereotype.

Quite frankly, I never realise how much inner healing I needed until I read this book. It was left sitting on the bookshelf after Josh read & raved about it. I was deliberately avoiding to read it because I knew deep in my spirit that God will (& HE has) speak to my heart through The Shack. Finally I mustered enough courage to bring the book along in my last business trip & I never regretted. With tears in my eyes, throbbing pain in my heart & most of all a deeper longing yearn for the Lord's presence....I completed the book within a short span of 4hrs.

Missy reminded me of Seth. A son whom I lost while he is only 10 wk old when i mis-carried in 2006. I knew he is a boy because the Lord revealed that to me when I was wheeled into the surgery room. It was there where he waved goodbye & smiled, that shattered my heart. 1.5yrs later, God graciously blessed me with Nadine who is a healthy 16mth old girl today. Nonetheless, Seth will always be Nadine's elder brother, my son & a precious child of God. After reading The Shack, I am once again assured that Seth is with Jesus & there he is, well loved, protected & blessed in the presence of God.

God's love is unconditional. Honestly, I am not sure if I will ever comprehend the depth of His love for me in my lifetime. Especially when tragedy strike, the first reaction is to doubt & be angry but It takes a deep relationship with Papa to develop that innermost trust & faith to trust that regardless of what happens in life...the good, bad and ugly, God still care, He still love & He has a purpose for everything.

Read The Shack to renew your love & rekindle that relationship with the Lord. Apart from Him you can do nothing and you ain't anything but with Him, you can be assured that He never leaves or forsake us...not even when He seemed to be far away because He is not. Take that path of faith & trust God to restore you again as He always does, faithfully

Give Us This Day Our Daily Bread

2009-02-24T13:12:00.002+08:00

By Max Lucado

What a statement of trust! Whatever you want me to have is all I want. Some days the plate runs over.

God keeps bringing out more food and we keep loosening our belt. A promotion. A privilege. A friendship. A gift. A lifetime of grace. An eternity of joy. There are times when we literally push ourselves back from the table, amazed at God's kindness. "You serve me a six-course dinner right in front of my enemies. You revive my drooping head; my cup fills with blessing" (Ps. 23:5 MSG).

And then there are those days when, well, when we have to eat our broccoli. Our daily bread could be tears or sorrow or discipline. Our portion may include adversity as well as opportunity.This verse was on my mind last night during family devotions. I called my daughters to the table and set a plate in front of each. In the center of the table I placed a collection of food: some fruit, some raw vegetables and some Oreo cookies.

"Every day," I explained, "God prepares for us a plate of experiences. What kind of plate do you most enjoy?"The answer was easy. Sara put three cookies on her plate. Some days are like that, aren't they? Some days are "three cookie days." Many are not. Sometimes our plate has nothing but vegetables--twenty-four hours of celery, carrots, and squash. Apparently God knows we need some strength, and though the portion may be hard to swallow, isn't it for our own good? Most days, however, have a bit of it all. Vegetables, which are healthy but dull. Fruit, which tastes better and we enjoy. And even an Oreo, which does little for our nutrition, but a lot for our attitude.All are important and all are from God. The next time your plate has more broccoli than apple pie, remember who prepared the meal. And the next time your plate has a portion you find hard to swallow, talk to God about it. Jesus did.

In the garden of Gethsemane his Father handed him a cup of suffering so sour, so vile, that Jesus handed it back to heaven. "My Father," he prayed, "if it is possible may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will" (Matt. 26:39).

Even Jesus was given a portion he found hard to swallow. But with God's help, he did.

And with God's help, you can too.

Norman & Evelyn

2008-12-16T14:34:00.011+08:00

I don't exactly remember the exact year when I was first introduced to Norman and Eve whom he passionately introduced as his girlfriend when Joshua and I asked if they were married. Both of them share this telepathy and love so intimately and at that point (perhaps in 1999-2000), they would have you fooled into believing that they have been together for years. Truth is, they have known each other since secondary school days way back in pasir ris secondary and they have been together since. Childhood friends since school days who eventually got married and stay married. Coming from a society where BGRelationships were taken lightly, I was really impressed and perhaps skeptical at that point almost 10yrs ago now if this relationship was for real...and it sure is with this couple who is none other than Norman Ang & Evelyn Wang.

Norman & Eve was my first couple I had in my cell group when I started serving God as a cell leader in City Harvest church. They were my first couple & when all the others were much younger ones like Yuanqin, Daphne, Lianshu, Shirley Pang whom were born in the 80's. Norman, Eve & I were the 70's people. In fact, we are all born in 1974. We are peers and friends. Quite honestly, I was really intimated when I first met Norman. He was at least 2 heads taller than me. I am guessing that he is at least 1.82 while i am barely 1.6m. He has this very non-chalant look on his face, almost like a smug look which i could not handle at the very beginning. When I realised he was serving the army as a captain (at that point), perhaps that military status does scare me a little...haha. Being an inexperienced cell leader, I do not know how I can relate much less, lead this man who happens to also be my age. However God has His ways, doesn't He.

I don't remember talking a lot to Norman. He is a man of very few words. He does not express himself a lot but boy, when he is in his "talking mood", he gets really chatty and at times, you can be so blown away by his words and animation. He is not flamboyant with his actions, words, dressing and mannerism. He is known for his simplicity and practical living. I always remember Norman to be a T-shirt and shorts man, wearing flip flops, his "bright yellow banana" slippers. He loved that pair of flip flop and you will almost see him in that attire whenever he gets a chance to be off his uniform and in his relaxed mode.

The first cell group meeting he attended was at my Tampines home. It was my first time leading a cell group meeting that Friday evening and I remembered I was nervous when I came back from work preparing to run through the praise & worship songs with the guitarist that evening. I make sure I drank enough water, had a light dinner, memorised all my songs (even prayers...yeah!) and be seated to start the meeting on time. Just when the clock strike 8pm, and I told everybody to "turn to your neighbours to tell them I am so happy you are here this evening", there was a knock on the door and when Joel opened the door, it was Eve & NORMAN! We were not expecting them to attend, I wasn't because Norman told me that he was busy that week & Evelyn told me that they are most likely unable to attend if Norman is busy at work. In short, I was not expecting them to turn-up! But here they are. I was so thrilled because I never know they would even want to consider coming. Look here is the background : both of them have been attending CHC for a whole 1 year on their own without being connected to any cell group. YET, they attend the weekened services faithfully week after week, month after month...for a year before Joshua chanced upon them both at the balcony area up at Hollywood theatre. When Joshua asked if Norman would consider attending cell group, the answer he gave was simply "huh cell group ah...no need lah, no time leh" Just the thoughts of those words brings back so much memories, looking back. That was just so his style. Now, to cut the long story short they came that 1 time and there was no turning back. Norman & Evelyn became the pillar of E154. The first generation E154.

At that point where 70% of the make-up was students in their late teens, they were our first couple. The most stable couple whom I reference to all the time when i counsel any members on BGR issues, young adults with early career entry challenges, marketplace issues etc...At the age of 27 then, Norman has a stable (or should i say...GOOD!) career, a stable character, a stable relationship and a stable spiritual walk with God. He is (still is) the role model in the cell group. Evelyn was a lady of very few words and you could almost detect an admirable loving look on her face whenever the couple exchange words. They were such a sweet couple. They are so ever faithful in the house of God. Whenever there is a need for PA, physical arrangement, Norman will always volunteer himself. I'd the honor to plan and organise their wedding. It was my first time running the whole wedding show on my own and there were many glitches that day but the couple was once again ever gracious. They see nothing of that, only the prefection of every detail. Only I, God and perhaps Pst Tan knew what went wrong. Until today, I could still remember! And on the very same day at his wedding, when Pst Tan asked him to join the security ministry to serve God, he did exactly that right after his wedding. No need for persuasion or further consideration.

Now, barely 7mths into being integrated into the cell group came the first church arise & build campaign. They amazed me with their love for God and their generosity. In that same year, they were also in the midst of preparing for their wedding of which I was their wedding coordinator. Yet despite it all, they pledged an amount combined amounting to a 5-digit figure. To me, that tells me how much they love God and His house as they pledged towards this act of sacrifice giving.

Very quickly, E154 grew and it was multiplication time. I had to part with Norman & Evelyn after much delibration to "give" (for a lack of better words) them away to the other group. It was a hard decision as I thought the "giveaway" would mean a diluted relationship but I was totally wrong. Josh & I remained very much in contact with Eve & Norman through emails, msn and occasionally sms...very much through Eve but Norman remained very close to our hearts. In mid 2007 when Norman visited Beijing for work, we even had dinner with him and really enjoyed that fellowship after a good 8 yrs. For me & josh, that was perhaps the best fellowship we'd with him.

In mid Oct 2008 when we received news that Norman was unwell, we dismissed it quickly as something really minor and unimportant only to realise very quickly from Eve the severity of the disease. Despite it all, we remained extremely positive and full of faith trusting God for His healing and intervention. In less than 2 months, we lost Norman to cancer but we knew in our hearts that God's healing upon his life is not in time & space physically here on this earth but it is in eternity.

Larry Keefauver said this in his book "When God doesn't heal now" that what is important is not the physical healing but the spiritual healing - that is our salvation. Our salvation, being secured in heaven with Christ is of utmost importance. We can continue to walk in faith when we are in suffering, in pain and even unto death. When I read that, my initial discouragement was dispelled. Surely it takes a person who is spiritual to be able to "accept" this. For an unbeliever who does not understand the character of God, he will scoff it off and say what use will it be if death is the ultimate answer to a disease. BUT a christian, a believer, a child of God who knows God personally, heart to heart can comprehend that. For the physical death is temporal, what is eternal is our salvation, our destiny in christ. For God so love the world that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have everlasting life. Christians live thereafter, in eternity with CHrist. We will rule and reign with Jesus into eternity and that is what matters most. Naturally, we grieve for Norman's loss when he left us. I cried bitterly and I truly miss him but I know in my deepest knowing that I'll see him again in heaven. That visitation at Changi Rise on 7Dec 2008 before heading to the airport is surely not my last meeting with him. I will see him again. With that, I felt absolute peace and hope in my heart.

To Ashley and Megan, your dad is a great man. He is a true Christian, a living testimony of a good finisher and a victor in Christ. He remained steadfast until the very end. Your dad never doubted God's ability to heal, never doubted God's timing, His character, never became bitter, never gave up, never let go of his faith. In obedience, he undergone the waters of baptism because again, he chose to love God and believe God for his healing. If I am allowed to assume, your dad trusted God till the end. He trusted God before, during his battle and now unto eternity, he has entrusted your mom, his lovely wife and you both, his 2 wonderful girls, unto the hands of the Almighty God. You will come to experience Fatherly love from the Heavenly Father God Himself as your dad watches at the right hand of God. Though he may have gone ahead of us but in the spirit, he will continue to live in your hearts just as he will in ours.

Both Josh & I are honored and priviledged to have known Norman & Eve in our lives. It was a divine setup way back in Hollywood when God wired us together so intricately.

5 days apart...another 3 more days before i see my Nadine darling

2008-09-10T18:59:00.007+08:00

2 days of meeting in Melbourne ended today. Caught up with Celine but didn't have a chance to get hold of Rio..busy woman with all her social commitments.

I've been on the road, travelling on red-eyed trying to squeeze in time to down load my emails unsuccessfully with the failed VPN connection plus preparation for the presentation and all since last friday and strangely I do not feel exhausted.

Since arrival on Monday, I've been on the streets of Melbourne just browsing and window shopping. Latte here is the bestest in the world. Unbelievably smooth & just the right amount of coffee bitterness and the freshness of milk. You won't believe I drank 1.5litres of milk (almost gulping down just like water) in a day. I just LOVE the freshness of dairy and food here in aussie, can't never get enough of it.

The last time I visited melbourne was when Nadine was still in my tummy! Today she is almost 9mth old. Amazing how time flies and each time when i recall my experience as a mother, i am simply thankful. Here are some photos of my girl...don't you just adore her!! In my most bias opinion, she is the most adorable baby in the universe, just look at those black eyes and the round chubby face, undoubtedly the daughter of Joshua Lim!

Tried to do some shopping for working clothes and shoes since I was back in SG briefly but was definitely put off by the crowds at the mall down orchard road. Shopping is so tiring and I never appreciate how it can be therapeutic for the majority.

Latrobe street, Findlers St, Richmond, St Kilda, Londale St, Southbank, Yarra Valley, Melbourne will always hold a special place in my heart.

Check out more photos of Nadine at Facebook!

2008-09-09T20:39:00.001+08:00

To all Nadine's avid fans out there, go to Facebook for more photos of Nadine!!

Nadine my girl

2008-05-22T14:51:00.001+08:00

Moving On

2008-05-22T14:38:00.002+08:00

Increasingly, my motivation decreases at the workplace.

Don't get me wrong, I really don't think I am citing myself up to be a housewife especially now that Nadine is born. I guess I am running out of inspiration to remain excited in my current role. A matrix organisation does not help especially when you are the only person based in the local office managing such a huge project initiative. Forgotten and neglected are thoughts that run through my mind each day as I battled with unclear instructions, lack of directions and leadership in my scope of work. If you are reading this now and you probably would realise I need a fresh leash of motivation and lots of light to be shed on my path before I get refreshed once again. It is not all that gloom and doom. I just need to be able to cite myself up to know that these are all but organisational behaviours that are common in all enterprise, just the magnitude could be different elsewhere. Interestingly my desire to be be an entreprenuer was rekindled just couple of days ago when josh and I were talking about spreading our options elsewhere. I should really consider that seriously.

Perhaps, it is time to move on.

I am reminding myself : "I am the light of the world and the salt of the earth, so I believe I can make a difference wherever I am planted. " Until such time when the Lord tells me to go, I will be faithful. I just need lots of grace, endurance and motivation.

Star River

2008-04-29T11:13:00.005+08:00

Supervising my ayi in the cleaning process while I work. Decided to steal some time to just jott down some thoughts.

Nice place 240sq-m in usable space : 3 bedrooms with 2 attached bathrooms, 1 study and 2 external bathrooms and 1 small ayi's room which i am using it more like a utility room. Very functional kitchen and dinning area. Cosy reading area by the balcony for evening reads and weekend lazing. Living room is spacious and already i've ideas to utilise the space. My only small complain are those chandeliers up in the ceiling, against the walls (miniature size) and everywhere...just far too many of them!!

The TVs and dryer will come in tomorrow. Probably will hop by again before i head on to the airport to pick up Josh's mom at 3pm. Just to oversee and ensure all is good. Well, landlord's secretary will be here anyhow to supervise. Yes! Shoe covers for delivery men is a must. My floor is already sparkling clean!

The apartment faces north so there is literally zero sun in the house. Given that now is approaching summer and the apartment is feeling chilly....we will all freeze during winter! Well, there is always the heating system, so all is good.

Saturday outing when Josh is still working in Cho-nan

2008-04-26T10:11:00.007+08:00

740am : The plan was to sleep in a little today since it is a SATURDAY afterall but was pleasantly awakened by Nadine little squirm...she is such a lovable baby. Then again, not too bad, I've already an additional hour of rest as compared to a normal work day.

Decided to be adventurous to bring mom and nadine out for dim sum lunch and to do some light shopping. Josh's mom coming over to BJ this wed and I just wanna ensure there is still enough convenient food for her for breakfast at home....thought of getting some custard buns and wanton. She can make instant noodle wanton soup for brekkie. Reckon she will not get used to BJ idea of soya milk + dough fritters (the low quality & super oily type, not to mention the extremely 'dirty' packaging). My mom is good with just 2 slices of bread with butter and jammy but I reckon josh's mom is not gonna appreciate bread every morning. Well, she is still very much cantonese at heart...her idea of breakfast is congee, fried bee hoon, bah khuet teh and wanton noodles...all of these are NOT available in BEIJING! haha...

Well, nadine was really a good girl today. She did not fuss when we were keeping our fingers crossed in the restaurant. She almost burst into tears when we changed her soiled diapers...Nowadays, I literally 'rejoice' when she pooed. Met a colleague and she marvelled at how nadine resembles josh. Not a surprise comment anymore...hey can somebody tell me something new!!?! But I am not complaining....her daddy has handsome good looks so no reason for me to lament! Lunch was only rmb85 and we still have packed dim sum for tea. Good value for money! You can never get this in Singapore.

Wanted to go to Walmart to do some shopping but nadine is turning grouchy...time for her afternoon nap. Forget about shopping and we headed home. True enough, she knocked out immediately when we reached home. Such a darling.

Dinner was simple fish slice bee hoon soup. I found mackeral fish in san yuan li market!! Great for slice fish soup, fish head curry and most importantly OTAH!

Meeting my landlord tomorrow to do house handover...counting down to our shift to Star River. Our New home. Wanted to go gym today to workout but am really not in the mood. Still hovering around 53kg. The last 3 kg is so tough to shed, stubborn fats! But what's important is I could fit into ALL my jeans already so i don't exactly care that much but the number '53' just disturbs me tremendously. Silly scales, maybe it is not accurate?!?! Who am i trying to kid?! Better be more disciplined...will try to go tomorrow else on MONDAY.

Josh is working over this weekend in Cho-nan for production study. He has been gone for a week already. Should be back by 2May. Texted me this afternoon saying he might be able to come back a day earlier. God is good. Missed him so much...

Getting my act together : NADINE + work

2008-04-25T17:08:00.007+08:00

I am back at work this week. To be exact, my first day at work was 23April and by God's grace, I'm already in my 3rd day of work. So far everything is fine. All arrangement has worked perfectly so far. Praise the LORD!

A typical WORK-day
630am : wake up to feed nadine (provided if she is already awake or is willing to wake up by that time...) before I shower, change, packed breakfast to work. Still gotta eat well and have a balanced diet since I am still breastfeeding. Else I'd have no qualms to go on a zero-carbo diet! Try to squeeze in some time to read the bible as I eat my breakfast (if I have the luxury of time to do so)

730am : I should have my makeup on, changed and ready to go in 15mins..

745am : Kiss nadine goodbye, give my mom some last minute instructions on milk rationing, ask her what she wants for lunch and conceptualise dinner plans!8am : out of the house, to reach office by 815am (That is if I am still at Central Park. Shifting on 3May so I'm counting down too....see how eventful is my LIFE! But God is amazingly good to me, as always!!)

820am : WORK = check emails, host teleconference calls, fire-fight, prepare my travel plans and try to work with my team-mates - that in itself is a whole journal if I want to start complaining (pinching myself and telling myself to be more christ-like - haha!), meetings and all

1130am : STOP everything i do..run down to grab lunch, quickly process what I would want to eat (low fat, low carbo) and what to get for mom

1140am : Driver comes for me. Thank God for driver huang...but he can be more alert at times...still, I am thankful for him. As compared to what other ISEs are getting, he is a God-sent. Well, at least he worked very well with Sun, Pst Tan and team so why should I be complaining!? hehe12noon : reach home!!!!

12-1255pm : Play with nadine, get updates on mom on her latest mischevious actions, asked if she has pooed (see, how that'll thrill me or worries me and sets me in prayer-mode if she doesn't...sigh, she cannot be like mommy...need prune juice! I come against that in the name of Christ!), feed her, express milk and swallow (literally) lunch in 15mins max1pm : run down and get into the car. Get me back to office by 115pm to get ready for conference call at

130pm130pm - 5pm : replicate what i do from 820am - 1130am, nothing unusual, just more intensified i guess

515pm : tell myself - ENOUGH! Time to go home. I reject OverTime in Jesus name!

530pm : Melts when I see nadine waiting for me at the courtyard or at the lobby reception with mom (THANK GOD for MOM!)until 615pm : plays and feed nadine until either she or myself gets tired...reluctantly put her to bed and I go take my shower

615-645pm : Go for quick gym if I am still not dead tired by then...almost occasional now

730pm : dinner

8pm : Nadine wakes up, so next feed!!

9pm : Change diaper, play a little more with her and then coax her to bed

930pm : Me-time! (hopefully...)10pm : Time to express milk

1030pm : GO TO BED

My life has changed and it will never be the same again. BUT! It is ALL for the better. I love my life, I live it to the fullest and I have all the reason to thank God constantly for just EVERYTHING. He is good.

Breastmilk is best

2008-03-17T13:30:00.003+08:00

Just rattling..

I am counting down to the day when I start working again...

We made a trip back to China life tower to checkout Fitness First Club and the bathroom amenities so that I could potentially go there to pump milk as and when I require. Thus far, nadine's feeds about 8-10 times a day : 730am, 10am, 1245noon, 3pm, 515pm, 7pm, 845pm, 11pm, 3AM, 5AM. Well, at times she does miss her 1245pm and 11pm feed depending on the length of her sleeping hours but in general...she drinks a lot! Each feed is about 120ml already.

Rather strange for a 2.5months old baby because that is considered far too much. A 2 month old baby should be drinking about 90ml only but She has been on 120ml for the last 1.5mths.

Anyhow back to 'Fitness First'....that option is out. The changing room has a weird smell. It is almost foul smelling. Changing rooms are separated by a flimsy curtain only, no plug socket for my medela electric pump. 6-month membership is rmb 2,800. Decided not to go with it. Then we went to level 5, 10 and 12 to checkout the restrooms and conference room facilities. Conclusion, not conducive once again.

My ultimate option was to purchase an Avent MANUAL pump (which I did) so that it is quieter and less noisy. That makes it less 'obvious' that I am away from my desk, expressing milk. I've to do that to ensure constant milk supply for nadine and for myself to prevent engorgement. Yes, i am willing to go through much inconvenience to ensure nadine has the best. Breastmilk is best. I hope to continue breastfeeding until she is 1 year old. If not, at least 6 months. That will be my best 'life' gift to her to help kickstart her to good health for the rest of her life.

Pregnancy, Labour and CONFINEMENT - the ultimate!

2008-01-23T12:20:00.002+08:00

I have been battling with motherhood since I left the hospital on 2Jan. Well, my pregnancy has been a total enjoyment, labour much as it is horribly painful with the never-ending (seemingly so) contractions but gosh, confinement was hellish. Everybody told me that confinement is gonna be tough but i never imagined it to be that tough. The smell of ginger and sesame oil filled the house and there are always the unending cuisine of liver, kidney and just loads of ginger in every plate of my food.

There is constant arguement about if I can drink water, bathe or even wash my hair. I compromised by NOT bathing for the first 5 days and only bathe in super hot and herb-smelling water in the morning coupled with sponge bath in the evening. Can you imagine bathing in super hot water in super humid singapore? It was worse than not bathing at all, trust me. I was not allowed to drink a drop of water but every single day is longan red date ginger tea and even my pee smelled of that! (oops! sorry..).

I had a difficult time and my poor mom also had a difficult time because i was constantly uncomfortable, upset and therefore unhappy. I do appreciate her and all her efforts but I cannot appreciate the works. These old wives myths ought to be crucified. Josh did not have it easy either because i was constantly complaining and having mood swings. There were days where I would just tear (mild post natal blues...i won't call it depression) especially when nadine doesn't sleep much in the night and makes me even more edgy and exhausted. It was exceptionally difficult when Josh has to go back to BJ alone in mid Jan, leaving me & nadine in Singapore. It was such a challenging period.

I would not have survived if not for my brother and sister in law..Roy and Iris. Together with their extremely adorable daughter, my little 6-mth old niece, Germaine, they dropped by nightly to check out me and nadine, making sure that we are comfortable. I drew strength especially from Iris' optimistic and cheerful disposition. Everything seemed almost 2nd nature to her. She is well apt to handle almost any tantrums issues i raised. From hiccups, breastfeeding, choice of diapers, nadine's damp naval and sleeping issues, she has a suggestion for EVERYTHING. She should really go start her FAQ website for parenting. She knows precisely where to get stuff from different baby shops and shopping mall. In short, she is unbelievable!

As I look back, I smiled. I am just thankful to the Lord that it is all over. It is quite amazing that I've survived...Truly, it is not how i started but how i end that matter. Pregnancy marked the start of my whole experience as a mom and confinement in my own definition marked the END of the whole pregnancy experience. After the whole confinement, LIFE really then began for me as mommy to little nadine.

The last 2 months have been INCREDIBLE. I thank the Lord for my mom and that I've overcame. Everything has settled in and we have established a kind-off routine for Nadine.

Counting my blessings each day as I watched her grow up to become more and more like Josh, myself and most of all the image of Christ. She is such a darling.

Rattling on.........

2007-12-05T16:09:00.000+08:00

I'm 36wks3days today and am feeling kinda lethargic. Dr Fong gave me 3 days medical leave which started yesteday and ends on thursday. Would be on 1 day leave on Fri to spend the weekend at Sentosa, celebrating our 5th year anniversary together - happily married and totally blissed with my husband, soul mate and best friend. He is the best you can ever pray ask or imagine. I simply adore him.

We have been separated for almost a month since we both came back to SG on 8Nov and he left on 12Nov (his birthday) and back tomorrow (Thank God!!) after his marathon trip to Seoul-HK-Seoul-Guangzhou in the last 3 weeks. Unbelievable schedule sometimes when I check out his itinerary. What to do, this man is absolutely passionate with his job. He loved his work and it totally consumes him when you get him talking about earth-moving equipment and construction machinery. Hydraulic system, machine performance and fuel efficiency, work tools and applications. Much as we both work for the same enterprise but I don't share the same fiery passion. Perhaps it makes a big difference in time tenure. He is 5yrs with the company and I am approaching my 2nd year in 5mths time. How time flies! But I really like working for CATERPILLAR. I have a sense of belonging and I felt like I am contributing to the success of the enterprise in my work. Especially since I am now working in Beijing together with Josh, there is this sense of accomplishment when you see how we help our dealers to streamline marketing and sales processes to better achieve sales performances in the china market where construction projects are heightening. Every part of china is booming with construction projects and i gave me great pride to see a piece of CAT equipment in the job site building towards a 'better tomorrow' in China. The sense of pride is indescrible. It is like a part of you is contributing to the social and economic progression of China, probably the largest or second largest country in the world with almost 1.5 billion people.

I enjoyed watching how Nadine move in my womb. She is rather active especially after a hot drink or a meal. It is almost like me sensing that she is 'absorbing' the food after my meals and enjoying hers! so weird and amazing but really I felt her savouring the food especially each time I enjoyed mine. Great to be back home where you've milk and sandwich served at breakfast time and hot dinner on the table.

Beijing is about -4 today.

Has been raining non-stop here in Singapore. It is not drizzle but real downpour!!! Wanted to go to Tampines Mall to shop for nadine's stuff but it is so heavy that it is impossible to step out without getting drenched. Maybe tomorrow would be a better day to do that.

Aussie Trip August 2007

2007-09-20T13:34:00.000+08:00

About an hour drive to Brisbane GoldCoast. Couldn't take the rides for obvious reasons but we had a great time browsing the shops and I'd my first cup of decaf coffee!

Brisbane City where we catched Ms Saigon at the theatre for the evening.

Bed & Breakfast at Hope manor, old Queenslander House. Marvellous choice! Colonial style room and Fantastic brekkie (as shown on picture), cold and warm breakfasts with at least 4 choices you can choose to have your eggs prepared - omelette, scrambled, poached and fried. Fresh juice, yoghurt and piping hot tea/coffee during cold winter. At Unbelievable price of A$100 per day!

Here is the photo Jo..

.

CAFE L'in Contro...brings back many good memories where me, jo, wei, vid and many others hang out whenever we are in Melbourne

Melbourne City : Flinders Street, Meyers, David Jones, Little Street...

The LEXUS we drove in Melbourne. Beautiful car and with the GPS facilities...that meant hassle free driving! Checkout the studio apartment we had in Melbourne. It is a separate facility from the main house. At A$100 per day, you get a fully furnished apartment (heated of course during winter) and well stocked up with touristy guide books, breakfast supplies of almost everything from jams, spreads, bread, fruit, sauces, bacon, eggs, milk,cereals, etc....for a change, we don't get served with the full cooked brekkie but we have everything we need to prepare one. Wonderful!

Queen Victoria Market and Melbourne Museum

Good Review and all went well!

2007-09-07T15:57:00.000+08:00

Except for some system and dashboard related issues, all are well. The training delivery in mandarin was great and review feedback from the sales reps, sales managers and marketing team were good.

So happy...so satisfied...sooooo thankful!

Praise God!

Park Apartment 天安豪园 or Central Park Tower 13 #26-02

2007-09-02T20:38:00.000+08:00

Now I have another Option at park apartment after viewing Kristine's home about 2 Saturdays ago. I am not sure if that is a good option. 245sq-metres at USD 3,800 and above. Great space and 4bedroom. Gosh! I love the study room & all the exclusivity with the master bedroom and mini walk-in closet. Most of all....the kitchen is amazing! The dry and wet kitchen concept with tons of storage. Even a store area for keeping all the electrical appliances and all. Even a drying area almost like a balcony that is all mine! I could surely use all that space. But really, the price is steep considering what we are prepared to pay. One key minus - no amenities around. Closest supermarket is Jenny Lou which is at Lido, about 10mins walk. Seemed alright but when it comes to cold harsh winter, walking out for 10mins unsheltered & un-chauffeured is not child's play....i don't recommend that!

We've gotten Rosemary to help us source for a 3+1 in phase 3 central park vicinity. Keeping my fingers crossed and praying hard that I can get some really positive news. We viewed a couple of units and really 26-02 and 20-02 at Tower 13 are my favourites. Especially 26-02! Be with me in prayer for 26-02 :

1. Rental will be only at USD2,800 (max)
2. Owner is willing to wait for us until mid Feb to shift in and kickstart the tenancy contract
3. He will agree with us installing the hot bath unit in both washrooms
4. He will accede to all our requests in asking for more appliances and furnishing

We can't move out of my current unit until Feb for 2 reasons. My parents warned me against shifting now because i am pregnant. They freaked out BIG time when I tried to hint to them that that was our intent...so i rather not risk incurring their wrath, especially if my mother in law comes to know of it - dead meat. Anyhow, second reason is because my current tenancy agreement ends in Dec anyhow. So the earliest given all else...it will be in mid Feb before we could move physically. God has been very faithful in all our asking in prayers so I firmly trust that He will "reserve" 26-02 at tower 13 just for us!

I believe the Lord will work miracle!

Mediocrity or Excellence

2007-09-01T11:42:00.000+08:00

I have been thinking a lot about this since I was preparing my training materials for CRM SFM Training with one of my china dealers next week in Shanghai.

What amazes me was how people actually spent enormous amount of effort to just NOT have that spirit of excellence. Not in a subsciously manner but extremely aware of the loopholes and areas of deficiency, they choose to be slipshod and almost oblivious to them in a very conscious manner.

It was almost like they had to delibrately avoid work, responsibility and ownership because to have an excellent spirit meant the contrary of course. Taking ownership, owning up to areas of responsibilities, being accountable and working hardly in essence. They choose to focus on the easy sloppy way of "that is how things have always been anyway so why rock the boat?!" Their "comfortable" boat most likely. The time and effort that has gone to do all that could have been better used to just get it done right & doing it well. Nonetheless, it is unarguable that it is easier typically to go with the flow. Truly, anything that is good is found upstream and not downstream. Interestingly, personal growth ( and thus challenge) takes place down under in the valley not at the mountain top. It is under the valley where you meet these "amazing people" that challenges your values, beliefs, standards and character.

I can be like them and be accepted as part of the team (yucks!) or I can choose to be absolutely different, be a sore thumb (irritate people very much at the beginning) and if I perserve...they will appreciate me (prayerfully and hopefully) at the end. Well I know the last part is just so true much as right now, I definitely don't feel appreciated but it doesn't matter. It is against my principle and most of all nature to be slipshod, sloppy and just average. I realise that the price to pay to have the spirit of excellence is popularity and human acceptance. Both of which are nice to have but it is not must have. People appreciate me for who I am not for what I can do "with" them. At least that is what I am telling myself now.

Yes, I will continue to modify my training slides until they are PERFECT! I am believing God for a wonderful training session next week in Shanghai and Kunshan with my audience of 60. Sales reps, sales managers, marketing folks and dealer management. It will be good. My first and last training since I'd be going on maternity leave in mid Dec.

Proverbs 22:29
Do you see a man who excels in his work?
He will stand before kings;
He will not stand before unknown man

I want to stand before my greatest King, Jesus and be proud to say...I have always given my BEST.

New apartment?

2007-08-25T23:21:00.000+08:00

175 square-metre.

That is what my current unit is at Tower 9 #37-05, Phase 2 Central Park in downtown Beijing CBD. The lease expires 30 Apr 08.

Therefore we have about 8months to decide if we need a new apartment with Nadine's arrival and my mom staying with us come March 08. My mom is officially retiring (FINALLY!!!) in Dec with Nadine's arrival into this wonderful world. Good for my mom, she is really tired and she has been working so hard all her life. I am so thankful that we are finally able to keep her from working and give her a new task of taking care of her grand-daughter. God is so good! Joshua is great! You cannot imagine how much effort he took (financial management & spreadsheet calculation) painstakingly since 6mths ago to start planning for my parent's retirement. yes, even my dad will be coming over to live with us in BJ come Aug 08. He is hesitant and procrastinating the shift citing reasons like not being able to find a kopi-tiam to drink his kopi-O (thick), eat roti prata, D24 durians and all....so anyhow, he will come in Aug 08. We are still trying to persuade him to come earlier...

Anyhow, back to the apartment.

Yes, we went house-viewing this morning. Also in Central Park. Boy! the new Phase 3 are so beautiful! We saw a couple of units. Particularly, a 4-bedroom was so stylishly designed and the owner had it all set up for the future tenants with details like wine glasses, dinner napkins and all. I was so mesmerised....but the price was even "better" ...estimated to be about US$6000+!!! Siao or what....it blows our budget but still, it was great just to "see".

Then we came to a 3+1. 3 bed room with 1 study. It was PERFECT in our opinion. Rental was lower at USD3,200, 190 square metre, #02 floor plan at level 15 (I think...). Master bedroom came with a drooling setup of 2 washing basins, shower unit and bath tub. We can convert the mini study into Nadine's play room. And...Store Room! (which is exactly what we need) and even the rooms for my parents came with attached bathroom! (If i remember correctly, hormonal changes are making me more forgetful these days...EXCUSES!!)

Now, option 2 is a mini-4bedroom at 218 square metres #07 floor plan. Rental is more steep - USD4,500. Still can consider but really got to think and pray hard before we can take this option. Great setup...even with a balcony and for sure, attached bathrooms in 2 bedrooms inclusive of the master of course. Maid's room which potentially we can convert that into a store room. This is ideal but the rental price, gotta consider again.

We may potentially have an option 3. Cedric & Jean's phase 1 apartment at 188square-metres. Huge master bedroom (big enough for Nadine's cot and play area...yes, that huge). Master bedroom came with a drooling setup of 2 washing basins, shower unit and bath tub. Just that no store room...But rental may be less than USD2,800. Most economical and acceptable too. Available unit but we shall see if his owner is willing to wait 8mths for us.

My Jurong West apartment is only 113 square metres, my existing unit is 175 square metre....so question is : Do We really need another BIGGER apartment?? Godliness with contentment is great gain. We seriously need to plan, think, budget (do more excel spreadsheets) and PRAY for wisdom.

Pray with us.

Waiting for Nadine to arrive...I am 22 weeks today!

Praise the Lord!

I eat all the time

2007-08-21T21:39:00.000+08:00

Brekkie
I wake up literally thinking about brekkie...

Usually this is huge : bran cereal with skim milk / ham & cheese sandwich with sundried tomatoes, juice and fruit. I don't like fruit & dairy products at all & I eat almost nothing of these categories of food before I'd na-na but now with her, I swallow it nonetheless!

Lunch
At 1045am, I start concocting my lunch menu

If i had a choice, I would like hokkien fried noodles, sliced fish porridge, bah chor mee poh with lots of chilli & vinegar, lor mee or mee tai bak with ketchup. All these are "impossible food" which i can never find in Beijing, my compromise is "Golden Lake" 金湖茶餐厅 menu of macaroni soup, wanton noodles, seafood hor fun or si-chiap bee hoon.

Tea-snack
By 430pm, I am snacking but nowadays, I disciplined my flesh to eat low fat fruit, banana, carrot sticks or wholewheat crackers only. Still it is EATING

Dinner
I have to eat by 7pm, latest. Anything later than that results in heartburn or indigestion.

Need i go on? I am just eating all the time!

Nadine Lim

2007-08-20T17:54:00.000+08:00

59.2kg.

That is what the scale say at 21 weeks this morning when i weigh myself at 8am. Put on another 200g overnight! I am getting rounder and fatter by the day. Never knew i could put on so much weight in this frame of merely 1.59m. I am really praying that all the weight gain will go STRAIGHT to Nadine (yes, that is the name we both like and have started calling her na-na) instead of residing on my arms & thighs! Must go to Marie France if I get grossly out of shape. Quite frankly, anything is worth it for my little girl as long as she is healthy & strong.

Nadine kinda responded well to that name whenever we talk to her. She gets particularly active whenever we watched city harvest service online especially during worship and preaching time. She liked Joyce Meyer's preaching. She was literally leaping last weekend when we attended both services online over the weekend. Nightly when Josh reads proverbs to her, chapter by chapter...she seemed to be listening intently and that brings tremendous excitement and joy to our heart.

The last scan in Beijing United was really much clearer than that in Gleneagles with Dr Fong. She has long limbs and finds great pleasure strangely in staring at her small hands. She seemed to be always in that "reading" position. Twice we saw her in that position instead of lying down. Whatever it is, as long as she is healthy, mom & dad will be glad.

Praying for her to get bigger each day, healthily. Can't wait to see her in late Dec... :)

Rom 4:3

2007-05-25T10:08:00.000+08:00

"...Abraham believed God and it was accounted to him for righteousness."

Believe. That is what our christian faith is anchored upon. It is amazing how easily at times we fail to remind ourselves that. We allow the complication of life anxieties, circumstances, pressures and cares of this world choked out this perspective of having to simply believe. God has a wonderful way of reminding us that He alone is sufficient. He is simple, we are the complicated ones. All Jesus wanted was our total trust and allegiance to Him. That was the only thing Abraham held onto - his faith, his belief. He did not waver at the promise of God through unbelief but was strengthened in faith, giving glory to God and being FULLY convinced that what He had promised, He was also able to perform.

What a great man of faith. No wonder God calls Abraham His friend. As I meditate on this, I felt the assurance and peace of God. It is a revelation unveiling before me again.

Beijing International Christian Fellowship (BICF)

2007-05-22T12:54:00.000+08:00

May 1 marked the one year anniversary since Josh and I both moved to Beijing.

Strangely it doesn't seemed that long but in the odd sense, it also felt like it has seemed to be much longer. Many reasons goes into it..one being that we have been travelling a lot both within and outside china for work and time just flew by. I made many trips back to Singapore, often for work (again) but each time to replenish my prune juices, trashy women magazines, curries, sauces, otah, personal care products and necessities. Most of all, each trip was a time of rejunvenation at church because spiritually we have been both under-nourished. It is a scary thought to backslide and become nonchalant with the things of God but if we are not careful and many times we found ourselves coming that close to being so cold, so distant. Whom do we have with us now that cell group, members, pastoral care and all seemed so far away, almost non-existent. We are not complaining because we know what is in stored for us when we made the decision to leave and settle into china. Quite on the contrary, we are glad we are here in china for many reasons.

We both left the local chinese church after attending there for several months. The expectations to serve and give are insummountable. There is the outflow but never the inflow where we felt ministered and pastored. Guess that is not the equation for us. After being there and doing whatever we could to help, serve, fellowship and everything....Can you believe that until today, the cell leader has never called us or even initiate to spend time with us. Even when we decided to leave, we have to take the initiative to arrange a dinner with her, pick her from her home and be accountable for the reasons why we choose to exit. I think the decision is correct.

Now, We have attended BICF for the last 7weeks already. We are not comparing but we like it there better. I am scheduled to be serving in the worship team this sunday and I am excited to be able to sing for the Lord. To start with doing the most insignificant so that I can start feeling part of this church family that I am yearning to belong to. I signed up for cell group with BICF in my 2nd week and they are planning on it now for our allocation. I am looking forward, really. It has been a year of almost going nowhere and I cannot imagine how Moses did 40yrs with the children of israel. Had it not for the internet service, Joshua's constant encouragement, Jo's friendship and above all, God's faithfulness we would have parched to death spiritually. But thank God, in all things....He made all things beautiful in His time.

Hopefully things will work out well in BICF and we will be planted in the house of God. This time, properly nurtured.

平谷Outing with Matthew

2007-04-23T22:39:00.000+08:00

Nasi Lemak

2007-04-23T22:07:00.000+08:00

Camera not very good lah but the essence remains! Home cooked nasi lemak. Brought back pandan leaves & otah from Singapore. Invited Cedric & Jean (beijing Singaporeans) to "contribute" ikan billis and their sambal chilli!

Nasi Lemak International style

1. Thai Rice with Pandan leaves (flown in from Singapore)

2. Fried Egg (beijing organic egg)

3. Otah (flown in from Singapore)

4. Ikan Billis (flown in from Thailand)

5. Chicken Wings (Carrefour .... so does it make it French?!)

6. Sambal Chilly (HK receipe)

水煮活鱼 : 俏江南(国贸总店)

2007-04-23T22:01:00.000+08:00

Pst Tan was asking me for recommendations to eat 水煮活鱼 and this is the place i found. Reasonable price and really good!

Website : http://www.dianping.com/shop/508232

俏江南(国贸总店)
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别名: South Beauty地址: 朝阳区建国门外大街1号国贸西楼2层L220号
电话: 010-65050809 65052288—80220

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his absence brought HIS PRESENCE

2007-03-03T21:41:00.000+08:00

I have been so occupied the last 10 weeks. I concluded 2006 with my family and kickstarted 2007 with fireworks, celebrating the lunar new year in style with fireworks (not crackers!) in Beijing. Much as gone into the 10weeks and it would be injustice just to let a great testimony pass without sharing it with you who is reading this right now of all that has happened (well at least in brief) during christmas 2006.

Going back to Singapore during christmas was a planned holiday. We had originally planned to go back to do so much...kickstart golf sport with a 4-lesson session, catch up with everybody in church, enjoy continuous lunch, coffee, dinner, suppers and roti-pratas catchup sessions with everybody back home with a roundup of attending ryan & andrea's wedding. In between, what was most important was to visit my grandfather who has been critically ill since late october. While we prayed and believed God for a miracle but at the same instance, we are just as mentally prepared for the Lord to do what is best deemed fit because we know that regardless of what the outcome maybe for grandfather, God knows the best. Indeed His ways are higher than our ways and His thoughts supercedes ours. Grandfather passed away on christmas eve, 24th Dec 2006 and went back to be with the Lord in Heaven....To comfort my mom, I told her that grandfather had found favour in God's eyes so much so that Jesus wanted him to be in heaven celebrating christmas with the angels....until today, i believed that was more than a comfort, that was the truth.

I vividly remembered receiving a call from my mom at work at about 1225pm and the moment i heard her trembling voice, i knew exactly what she was about to say. There was tremendous amount of tension, stress and everybody was apparently grieved. Some handled it at their stride but there were many insensitive exchange of words which unfortunately I became a part of in one of the conversations. However, all things worked together for good....by applying God's grace and wisdom in those situations helped and things turned around. By withholding our opinionated criticisms, extending grace and forgiveness, i am amazed at how it was able to resolve all unhappiness and conflicts in the family. My distraughted aunt came to me at the 3rd day of the wake to apologise but more than that she being an unbeliever gave the Lord the glory , believing that the Lord has given us the wisdom to know how to handle the situation most rationally and in love instead of being judgemental. For that, God deserves the praise.

The dialect church pastor from Church of Singapore (COS) touched my mother and her 8 siblings so deeply simply by being there every night at the wake. He did not just conduct another regular funeral service but he demonstrated his pastoral love and genuine care by going the extra mile ... from finding a columbarium for the ashes placement to reaching out to my uncles, aunties and cousins who were there individually by spending time fellowshipping with them nightly. And because they were all so ministered and touched by the ministry of COS, all of them attended the first service in Jan 2007. What a phenonmenal start to the year by spending the first sunday of the year in church, as a family. I don't know about you but I was so blessed just thinking about it even right now. My first uncle who is the most hardened and staunched taoist gave his heart to Jesus after the 2nd weekend service and as I am writing this blog right now, he is preparing to give his conversion testimony in church tomorrow at service. We were thrilled just celebrating his salvation. Now there are 4 of them saved...my mom, aunt betty, uncle lawrence and first uncle, I believe all my other uncles and aunties will come to know the Lord very soon. Act 16:31 is coming to pass very soon. Praise the Lord

Yeah and before i forget........... to those who came to my grandfather's funeral wake...thanks so much. Your presence meant so much to me, joshua and my family.

Grandfather may be absent today physically in our midst but his passing away brought God's presence into the family. That in itself is something we can rejoice despite us missing him deeply. Having shared all, what can i say but God is good all the time & all the time, God is good.

Demilitarized Zone (DMZ)

2007-02-07T16:45:00.000+08:00

Some photos we took at the DMZ. See, i am getting lazy writing but phots & pictures paint a thousand words!!! Bear with me, i will be back with more updates hopefully soon!

龙庆霞冰雕

2007-01-18T22:17:00.000+08:00

Trying to look good and pose in the enclosed heated car before i get all wrapped up when i step into the ice-snow mountain!

This is how cold it is! Josh is all wrapped up like South-park kenny!! haha!! He looks so cute, doesn't he!

These are real snow & it is literally a frozen snow mountain! If you stare hard into the photo, 江泽明did the opening for this tourist attraction. It is about 2hrs drive from where we live. It may be a long drive but was a comfortable ride with the heating system in the car, i have absolutely NO complaints!

These are real ice cravings and it was so well made. You see the houses of 三只小猪! What's more, they craved a condensed version of disney land inside the mountain! And everything is life-size!

Joshua

2006-12-27T01:37:00.000+08:00

We were fellow CG member in S12 (haha...way back in 1998!)
My best friend
My soul mate
My much rational, much intelligent, much BETTER half!
My dearest husband!

Four wonderful and happy years of marriage & many more to come!

Emily's SOT Graduation

2006-12-27T00:49:00.000+08:00

Emily's Graduation!

I'm proud of you!

Do not despise the days of humble beginning!

2006-12-23T18:22:00.000+08:00

My second day learning golf today with Josh at Seletar Country Club and I must say that I am really not an athletic! He is definitely a much better player than me. Better ball sense & greater aptitude with sports. Attributing it back to days in ACS where he was trained to "bend his knees" (yeah, Jo will tell me that I should have persisted in tennis 7 yrs ago but nah....) and swing the ball but you know what i think? It is really his ability to coordinate himself through the many years of experience playing arcade games, nintendo, computer games, PS2 and now his favourite PSP! I am one person who can't "jump, run and shoot all at one go!" No surprises for the 5x required for me to pass my driving exams to get that precious license. Sorry no auto-car learning 10 yrs ago! Yes, well at least I am a confident manual car driver today & I can proudly profess to be a good driver! So.................golf is here to stay & I am determined to get the strokes right. My back swing & Full front swing. I got my first pair of golf gloves yesterday as well! Must persist & ensure I master the game. Yeah, once again I am reminded never to forget the days of my humble beginning when i first started learning driving. If i can succeed in driving, I can suceed in golf. Nothing is impossible!

Partially right vs Completely wrong

2006-12-06T23:48:00.000+08:00

Lessons Learnt & thereby, ReVelATion unfold...

Person A says this "I rather not speak because if I keep quiet, at least nobody will know that I am ignorant but the moment I speak, my ignorance is exposed." Then I heard this from another somebody (Person B) who said : "I rather be partially right than completely wrong."

Most people choose to be Person A simply because it is more comfortable, convenient, being laid back is the acceptable norm & appeared to be less risky. What they fail to see is that in that comfortable & secured zone, you are almost 100% unlikely to progress further in life and more importantly, you are definitely prideful. No pain, no gain. Well, as I thought through...you know what, it is more exciting to be Person B. Person B lives a colourful life. He tries more things, fails more times but also achieve greater heights. Most likely more humble than "A". You are open to new ideas, constructive corrections and you are not afraid to make mistakes & laugh at them when they happen from time to time. It is like exercising our faith. Without faith it is impossible to please God because God desires adventure with us, teaches & coaches us through lives ups & downs. He expects us to do the Free Fall on HIM because HE is sure to "catch" us. When we succeed, He is glorified but when we fail, God ensures that those experiences are not wasted either....Therefore a faith proclaiming, bible believing christian is a type B, person B or whatever you wish to term it.

Sometimes we drawback especially when it comes to issues where we are not the subject matter experts or the guru. Being asians, many times we have to be provoked and challenged to speak our mind and share our comments in a public forum. Does that explains why it is usually the australians and americans (in short caucasians) who are vocal and the asians (chinese especially) lay low just in case "mah lu". Our attitude needs to change. It really depends how we see ourselves in the mirror. Just as the greatest deception is self deception, Our greatest enemy is ourselves.

The bible tells, teaches, reminded, admonished us this everlasting principle :
1. Be quick to listen
Revelation : pay attention & be sharp in the mind and in the spirit

2. Be slow to speak
Revelation : THINK before you speak. Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks. Your words reveal your character. I cannot elaborate enough on this...

3. Slow to wrath
Revelation : Even when you are found to be "not that right" or even wrong, don't "wrath" and be upset with others or even yourself. Part of learning involves making mistakes.

Once again, Our attitude needs to change. It really depends how we see ourselves in the mirror. Just as the greatest deception is self deception, Our greatest enemy is ourselves.

As I write, I am REMINDING myself.

Happy birthday to me

2006-12-03T22:49:00.000+08:00

"More precious than silver, more costly than gold..." No riches on the earth compares with having a relationship with Jesus my King, my Lord, my best friend. This was (yes, literally "was" now that I am no longer a cgl) my favourite worship song during the years when I led cell groups. God never fail to show up tangibly everytime we sing this song with tears in our eyes. This seemed to be the special song for E154. This song touches God's heart deeply just as it touches our heart.

Strangely, I do feel a sense of loss recently. I missed being a cell leader, I miss leading worship and getting into the presence of God together with my members. I miss the late night counselling and early morning bible study appointments i used to have with shirley and lunch time appointments with jo, kat, lydia, tricia, cin and sharon. Boy, how I miss serving the Lord with my church family in city harvest. My heart leapt with excitement this morning when Pst Kong shared abt having 5 services during christmas in anticipation of 40,000 people congregating together this christmas. Deep within my spirit, I knew God will come through for us again. Well, truth is...He never let us down so this time is no exception.

As I reminsce the good old times, I know strongly in my spirit that the Lord speaks to me of His calling over my life. His calling over my life is irrevocable. I always enjoy worship, leading worship and being in worship. It is in worship where I feel totally at peace and engulfed in His love.

It was my birthday yesterday. I turned 32 and for the first time in years, I spent my birthday quietly with yes, no members. I felt completely satisfied because my best friend, husband and soulmate is by my side. Nobody takes the place of Joshua in my life. I love him with all my heart. Josh is the best gift God has given to me. Then, I realise...i missed my members. Just when I felt the "loss", all the birthday sms greetings came through on my mobile phone. One after another, I felt so blessed and so loved. I felt that it is God's way of reminding me of His unfailing & faithful love. Truly those years of sowing my life to serve Him has been reaped a harvest that remain. Just meditating on that warmed my heart.

What do I wish for this birthday? I made my wish. 3 things : (1) my grandfather to be healed of lung cancer (2) Josh to be able to see every single day of his life (3)....for me to know and for you to find out.

Never mind the number or the content of these birthday wishes because I know the Lord I love, serve and live for will be faithful.

Happy birthday Cindy.

Solution Provider

2006-11-16T10:31:00.000+08:00

I was reminded : If I am not part of the solution, I am part of the problem.

Therefore, I must be a solution provider! In every problem, there are opportunities for me to once again demonstrate myself as the light & salt of the world. I refuse to complain, lament or even mope over the issues. Time to move on, get going & as I step out in faith (& lots of grace & wisdom from God), I know the Holy Spirit will be my partner. God never lead me this far to let me down. He is good. If there is no team spirit, I create one. If there is no unity, I be the first to stay united. If there is no synergy, I be the catalyst. I can make things happen.

Some people watch things happen
Some people wonder what happen
Some people make things happen....I want to be that somebody

I can make a difference.

I am happy again!

Wisdom is knowing who is your Source

2006-11-02T08:41:00.000+08:00

James 3: 13 " who is wise and understanding among you? Let him show by good conduct that his works are done in the meekness of wisdom"

Earthly wisdom is demonstrated by being devious, overbearing, domineering and most of all, self seeking..the bible tells us that this type of wisdom does not come from above but is earthly, sensual and demonic. For where envy and self seeking exist, confusion and every evil thing are there. But on the other hand, the wisdom that is from heaven is first PURE, then peaceable, gentle, willing to yield, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality and without hypocrisy...

So often, it is almost effortless for us to be filled with envy and become self centred in our lives. When we see others with a wonderful job, great family, pay raise ...basically enjoying better things and seemingly God has given them more at "our expense", the feeling of envy begin to rise. How true it is that true wisdom is first pure. God expects us (me, as I am writing this...i am reminding myself!) to seek for purity. Purity in intent, thoughts and actions. We may smile and rejoice on the outset but deep within our hearts, we can become envious or even bitter sometimes so subconsciously. I believe that is when God tells us repeatedly that we have to guard our heart which is the wellspring of life....out of it flows issues of life. Heavenly wisdom is one where we exercise gentleness, humility and grace through our actions and words as we represent Jesus. Are we too casual in saying that "Thank God for wisdom" when the resulting action of that "wisdom" fails to fulfil the biblical definition of heavenly wisdom as in Jas 13:17? Think about it....The next time we ask God for wisdom, the bible tells us HE will give it to us lavishly, check against these qualities and ask " Is my action which is performed out of the wisdom of Christ, is it done in purity, gentleness, grace and bear fruits that will remain?" Else, more likely it is just fulfilling your self seeking desire...which regretfully is not a result of Godly wisdom.

As you check your hearts, I am checking mine.....

This coming weekend is Arise & Build pledging weekend. Since weeks ago, I have began check my heart. The amount I am pledging is never derived out of my own wisdom (sheer calculation of income minus expenses and cost of living and some savings...). I don't want to give for the purpose of seeking anything else from God. I give because I want to bless the Lord. He knows my greatest and only desire so there is no need to give more $ just to "arm-twist" Him to release from heaven because i cannot manipulate the Lord anyway!

He gives and bless as He will and I just simply trust that He is indeed a God of More than enough. He has blessed me with more than what I could ever think or imagine all these years. There is no means to even compute the accumulated blessings the Lord has given me. It came in the form of a fulfilling marriage, favour, great family, wonderful friendships, success in career, material possessions, peace of mind, tranquility in my spirit and more importantly, the priviledged friendship i have with my Jesus. Much as it is not a bed of roses (there are great disappointments, sense of loss and uncertainty) but surely, God has been showing me that in the midst of being pricked by the thorns of life, I can always focus on the roses. Life is a matter of perspective and I choose to always (it is a conscious and hard effort honestly!) focus on those roses.

approaching WinTEr

2006-10-25T08:29:00.000+08:00

Temperature is decreasing gradually as time passes. It is about 10 degrees today. Could have been more bearable if not for the gusty wind.

Meeting Xuling for lunch today. She will be leaving for Hainan afterall.

Gosh! Joshua's parents and auntie could really shop! Glad that they are indeed enjoying themselves in this trip. What's in for them today? Summer palaace, Yiheyuan garden, Hongqiao pearl market for more shopping and time to dash into the dvd shops for more dvds! You cannot believe the dvd list! From cantonese serials to the latest movies .....then again, This is CHINA!

士林夜市

2006-10-15T23:23:00.000+08:00

Has been almost 6yrs since I last came to Taipei Taiwan. Touched down early today at 530pm and decided to go take a stroll at 士林夜市, the city famous night market where you can find anything and everything from food, fashion (With 80% woman fashion, it feels more like a "woman's market!), handphone accessories, winter gears, toys, ornaments, imitation products and LV & Prada are must haves'.

I've never seen that many people in my life. Everybody was walking on the road and clearly there was no distinction between vehicles on the road and pedestrians on the pavement. Everybody is walking everywhere....nobody seemed interested with the hectic traffic except for getting the best bargain from the flea market. Unbelievably, I bought 2 pairs of jeans at S$19 each and a belt for S$2.90. I must get the rest of the team to come visit this flea market in one of the next 3 days. Taxi ride was cheap at S$2.30 one-way. When it was almost dinner time, I was reminded of Ammiel's 香鸡排 and sizzling black pepper steak with macaroni and corn soup! I was determined to search it out & I found it hiden at the corner of another bustling street! At S$6.90, I get a set of the sizzling codfish (prefer fish to red meat) hotplate with soup, bread roll and lipton tea. Not bad for that price & it was yummy!

Got back to the hotel to clear some emails, called my parents & josh. Had a good msn chat with Egwin....he is one great guy! Any takers?? just kidding!

Gotta sleep....important meeting coming up tml & my day starts at 7AM. That means I gotta be up by 530AM. Yawn................

It will be a good week ahead!

Col 3 :12

2006-10-06T10:20:00.000+08:00

"Therefore, as the elect of Christ, holy and beloved, PUT ON tender mercies, kindness, humility, meekness, longsuffering;"

We are the chosen elect of Christ. The bible calls us the chosen generation. Because of our position and heritage in Christ, we are already holy & loved by God....Being connected with God in the spirit, we are already holy. The word of God tells us that we are declared to be righteous, holy. We cannot be more righteous, therefore the futility of our works. It is not by works that man is saved, but by the grace of God, so no man can boast. We are loved dearly by God, He calls us His beloved. Nevertheless, we have to consciously WEAR, PUT ON the character of this new person (spirit) in us. The reborn of our being. We have to wear and put on not just once but daily (crucifying of the flesh) tender mercies, kindness, humility, meekness and longsuffering. How mind boggling that statement can be. Why do I have to do that if I am already declared holy and beloved by my heavenly Father? Now I understand. We are tri-une, just as God is triune. Spirit, Soul & Body.

In the spirit, we are one with our Lord. We are accounted and declared as righteous. In the body, we are stewards of all that we have & receive. That includes our temperament and character. Our character is constantly being challenged by our Soul. The soul is soulish, it is carnal & constantly battling against the spirit. Therefore we have to make a conscious choice & decision to wear and put on Christ. Only in Christ, we are complete. Col2:10 "and you are complete in Him, who is the head of all principalities and power."

"And I worship you Lord
My life in YOU restored
Here is my heart
Make it your sanctuary
For Nobdoy else but Jesus only you..."

I thank God for my parents

2006-10-05T13:37:00.000+08:00

Parents came to visit 2 wks ago and left just yesterday. Time seemed to just flew past.. has been 6 months since i moved over to Beijing. It seemed that at times I have began to adapt really well but at times I seemed to feel alienated.

Guess i just felt a sense of loss when they left. There was so much preparation, taking them shopping, sight seeing, going for meals and as usual, my mom will start cleaning up my house and adjusting the loose ends that she sees around the apartment....at times i get upset when she gets too much into the nitty gritty details of housekeeping. I have to constantly remind her that she is here for her holiday and not here to do cleanups but well, she is my mother & I know her too well. When my parents left for Singapore at the airport, tears start streaming down my eyes. I realised how much I'd missed having my parents although I have them with me for full 13 days. Such realisation only dawn upon me when I saw them checking in at the airport. My parents had not had a good holiday together for ages and I am so happy just to be able to have them here in BJ the last 2 wks. We spent so much time together, fellowshipping, doing nothing on certain days, just lazing around but time never seemed to be enough when you are enjoying it. We should do more of this...spending quality time with my families and those whom i love.

Now the house seemed to be so empty and big once again....but it is ok, Josh's family is coming for a week in a fortnight's time....more to come!

Lethargic

2006-09-06T15:09:00.000+08:00

Feeling unusually tired the last 2 days. Just could not muster enough energy to focus recently. Bought a new mask product, maybe i should try it tonight while preparing my bible study materials for Friday cell group. I have all the things i want to share in ENGLISH up in my head but to articulate it in chinese in a way where it brings impartation - wow! that's a challenge. I will have to WILL myself to sit down tonight to get the notes drafted.

Yawnnnnnned! Boy! I'm tired at 1509hrs!

Autumn

2006-09-05T09:08:00.000+08:00

Sept5 marks the start of autumn in China.

Temperature is down at 20 degrees or even lower. Still bright & shinning so it is kinda Nice weather to just take a stroll & finally no more persistent air-con all over me. Time to breathe in some natural air (without the pollution pls). Didn't quite rest after being back from Qingdao. Started work early today at 730am, piles of airtickets to submit for claims & i really have no clue how to do the refunds for unused tickets & finance ain't helpful...i will figure it out somehow, as always!

Had a very good talk with MC, he was in a beautiful mood! I know my directions now...No 6-sigma, just me & my "methodology" and lots of God's GRACE & Wisdom!!

Waiting for conference call to start in 2 mins....

This is the Day that the Lord has made, I will REJOICE & be glad in it.

Fantastic Week at Qingdao! What a great week!!!

2006-09-01T17:49:00.000+08:00

Flew into Qingdao on Sunday & it is Friday today…Tired but felt extremely fulfilled!

I'm flying back to Beijing tomorrow noon time. Has been a very fruitful trip. First ever China region CRM event which marks the new beginning! Nothing of this scale and magnitude and coverage have been done before here in China, such a breakthrough effort. Target was to have at least 3 dealers out of 6 sign up for deployment of sales funnel management in china region but guess how many we have now when we gave the project sheet for dates inputs? ALL 6!!! Unbelievable! God is indeed good. I just felt His presence, favour and strength upon the entire team. Despite the hardwork, there was so much synergy and we had so so much fun. Not to mention that food was forever in abundance! I never knew the complete significance of establishing brand awareness and consistent corporate image until this trip. The colour, usage of background, exact font size of the company logo….everything, there is a process, a methodology…so much details, emphasis and thought put to it.

My boss gave me a pleasant surprise on the opening of the event! He presented me with a bouquet of flowers to appreciate all the hardwork and initiative in putting this event together. Felt so appreciated & it is great working under someone who recognizes your effort, sacrifices and hardwork. And guess what, he took extra effort to find out my favourite flower! Boy! I was so blown away! His favourite catch phrase (being a CRM Manager) : Customer never care how much you know until they see how much you care. Sounds familiar? That is exactly what I learnt under the discipleship of the CHC leadership! Biblical principles of God remains relevant in any circumstance. How applicable that can be! Wow! The hotel management was amazed at how meticulous I went into the planning of this event. Well, once again…I learnt years ago, Details determines destiny. These are all coming back to me & I just felt so blessed & thankful to God in all these years of molding & discipleship. He surely has a bigger plan for my life! Indeed the molding & difficult times of discipleship are not pleasant at that moment of time but when it is put through endurance and time, good seeds will bear good fruits, fruits that will remain.

And guess what!? At the end of the event, another gift presentation by the event owner/sponsor! Wow!

Josh is preaching on sunday at the chinese church. Haha! he is so gang jiong to do it in mandarin. Gotta help him prepare sermon once we touch down beijing! what an adventure with the Lord!

Gotta run...Dinner with team starts at 630pm.

Cheers!!!

TIC = This is China

2006-08-27T23:34:00.000+08:00

Arrived in Qingdao on Sun 27Aug. Clean city, orderly & good traffic...can't believe i am still in china. Put down my bags (3 hand carry : laptop bag, handbag and mini projector) + 1 luggage checked in. Thank God I listened to Josh advice and checked in my luggage. There were hardly any elevators in the domestic airports...they believe wholeheartedly in walking! More walking and "transits" on the manual "sky train" that brings you from the checkin gate to the aircraft. Well, TIC = This is China. haha!

Shangri-la Hotel, 5-star but really in my definition : 4 star in terms of infrastructure & service. Shangri-la managed and run by local is a far cry in terms of service. My experience in working with them on this event ain't good. Lot's of coaching, guidance & yes, PATIENCE when dealing with them. Never assume and take things for granted. Josh always say "better confirm, be safe than sorry"...Never trust in vague information & poor description. Ya lah, "You think, I guess, who confirm?!" So better CONFIRM everything! Thank God for all the training and molding in having an excellent attitude, I developed an eye for details & I can be very meticulous! Almost very "cat" (keow - in hokkien), fussy in english! Guess I had it all trained in the inside of me being a CGL. The power of Pst Kong's strong, strict & hard discipleship! Even Shangri-la's management is asking me to join them as Events Manager - haha! Thanks but no thanks!!!

Went to checkout the dinearound restaurants in Qingdao for 31Aug. Went 8 restaurants in 4hrs, trying to negotiate and plan out the dinner menu with them. First thing to check in every restaurant : toilets! If toilets are clean, food is assured. Shortlisted 5 from the 8. Literally, blisters start to form on my tired feet....can't even bring myself to eat out. Dying to crawl back to the hotel, have a nice shower, plan on next day's event and order room service before catching up on my beauty sleep. Jo called when I was eating my shrimp dumplings & spring onion siao bing. I am almost authentic chinese now with the change in diet! Trying to lose some weight here...3-4 kg will be good!

Only Day1 and I am already exhausted....better go to sleep soon!

lightning speed required....

2006-08-25T09:56:00.000+08:00

This week just flew pass! what a week! Haven't complete my presentation...must complete it by 430pm TODAY!

Greater is He who is in me!

2006-08-22T09:20:00.000+08:00

So much to do, so little time.... Gonna be brief today.

Dr Bernard is unbelievable! Watched all 3 services online. Amazing truths, fantastic revelation & Mind boggling truths. It seemed that I only got to know God a little bit more last week. I love the word of God. It is true, fresh & transforming....purpose in my heart to be devote more time to plough through the word. Has been meditating on Gen 3:5 and Gen3:8-11. ...

My prayer request (Thanks Lingkai for remembering me!)
1. Local church in Beijing
* Strong impartation of the word
* Relevant preaching of the word so that we can be fed spiritually
* Find a place to start serving actively in the local church
* Continue to yearn for the spiritual impartation and discipleship of CHC

2. My first CRM event coming up in Qingdao, 29Aug - 2Sept.
* The first CRM event for China Region in fact...My big break to present the loyalty program. 6 major dealers will be at the event. almost 70 pple, inclusive of district managers, reps & of course my bosses. Wisdom, understanding to prepare my materials. Clarity in thoughts & speech, ability to engage and facilitate discussion amongst 70pple. Audience are extremely seasoned CAT pple who are super familiar with cat machines, china market, engines & parts business....while I have no engine background, only 3 months in my job...I can list my inadequacies which I will not, but do Pray for confidence, faith, no intimidation. I was intimated when I thought abt the full works involved but I choose now to focus on Kristos kai Kosmos. I am planted here to bloom, to be God's light & salt. I can do it.
3. Breakthrough in my loyalty program project
4. Constant renewal of my mind and stay tuned with the move of God

On the road.....

2006-08-15T23:39:00.000+08:00

I've survived the 2nd day of the 5 days....has been so much rescheduling of the trips to the dealerships. Now it is 4 cities in 4 days instead of 3 in 4 days! Unbelievable but His grace is always sufficient for me. Gonna to be my big break to talk to Lei Shing Hong this thursday. The largest dealership in china and the most influential. And boy, i am all alone to handle this mega giant & district manager will be there....Grace grace!!! I know I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

Gotta get some sleep now. Flying hk to kunming tml at 1200hrs & Kunming to Shanghai at 2100hrs. Flying is now a big part of my life! Sweet dreams. God, bless me with a deep sound sleep & helps recuperate all the eye bags and saggy skin. My skin needs to drink! Gosh weather has been so HOT!

TGIF!

2006-08-11T11:33:00.000+08:00

i was so blurrrrr....thought the series with Dr Bernard will be this weekend. Got all set with going home early, eating dinner at home & all that jazz just waiting to login to watch service online tonight and tomorrow...only to realise that it is the week of 18-20th Aug! Anyhow, it is good news, cos I will be off this sunday so if it is this weekend, i'd miss sunday's service. Blessing in disguise! Praise the Lord!

Had some work to clear & prepare to take off on Sunday to Taiwan, Hk and Kunming...3 cities in 4 days. Quite a bit of travelling to do. A little apprehensive since it is the first meeting with the chinese dealership & in my opinion, the prep work can be more thorough, still it is beyond me to determine how much prep work goes in. So i just have to ride with the flow & trust God. Gotta find a way to squeeze in the discussion of the loyalty program into the visit with the dealers' principals! God, give me wisdom to do that!!! All things are possible, I believe!!!

TGIF! Happy!! Excited!!! Better start my reading tonight. Has been procrastinating.

happy weekend folks!

I love my nation

2006-08-10T12:28:00.000+08:00

chanced upon the "History of Singapore" on discovery channel on sunday..a 3 part series. Never really knew the precise details of my nation. Unbelievable how much a nation so small & totally insignificant could transform itself given a short span of 40 years.

Interesting to watch those old black & white video clips with LKY talking about how he first got started, challenges faced & solutions that he put forth - mind boggling! amazed at how much wisdom, talent, creativity & productivity this man has in the inside of him...he literally built the nation from scratch. From nothingness to greatness. Causes me to think how much more talent & creativity God has originally gave to us ... each one of us to have that potential to expand on the inside & explode on the outside. Just by meditating on that excites me, boost my faith & make me so thankful to God & Him creating all things, including myself. All of a sudden, the sense of thankfulness that I am created, born in Singapore (I NEVER complain or despise my nationality...in fact I am always very PRouD to be a Singaporean! I've no hesitation to say that I am from the Lion City whenever pple realise that I don't sound, talk, act, behave like a local chinese! Everything of me gave it away i think!) and all that I am and have. I am eternally grateful to my Lord

This is just part 1 for today...just into the writing mood today! stay tuned!

JOY unspeakable

2006-08-05T10:29:00.000+08:00

Nice Saturday morning in Beijing city. On the 37th Floor of my apartment, I was awakened this morning just feeling joyous!

Spent time with my Lord. I could feel His presence all over again and that is so wonderful & amazing. Countless days as i looked back, i thank God profusely for many things. Over and over again...Josh says I am a person that looks back all the time, i like reminiscing good old time for some reason. I am made this way and I like it this way. This is the day that the Lord has made & I will rejoice and be glad in it. As I read Joyce Meyer's book the joy of the Lord...i was immensely blessed. Thanks Gina for the book - eternally grateful ! It is the best book i've read in the last 2 yrs. So many truths, so many applications awaiting me to be a person of the word but boy! hard as it is....it is really something I should do - TO have the joy of the Lord. Joy ain't a result of material possession & acquiring more. Joy is an inward attitude. Joy is an outward expression as a result of how the Lord has blessed, endowed & poured His love upon our lives & mine. It is so amazing just sitting here to thank Him for this priviledge that He has graciously given to me....Unbelievable!

Let me illustrate...my beloved & favourite husband....Favourite = 1. There is no 2 "favourites" & 2 "best". It is ridiculous when people go about claiming "This is my favourite & that too..." Anyhow, I love my husband with all my heart. He is my only 1 & he is the BEST! Wouldn't trade him for anything in the world. So i have A Favourite husband...anyhow, back to the illustration of Joy. Josh bought me my dream Tag Heuer watch yesterday ....unexpectedly. He is wonderful with surprises! He bought me this watch just minutes before us running into the movies for Superman. I thought it was just browsing but he bought it! He is one sweet man. I was blown away. Sure! I was happy to own a brand new dream watch but I am filled with JOY because I know God has blessed me. Not with this watch but with this man who loves me wholeheartedly & unconditionally in many many ways. That is Joy. That knowing, that connection, that amazing relationship which the Lord blessed me after 3 yrs of waiting, seeking, putting Him first and everything else aside tells me one thing - those who trust in the Lord will never be put to shame. Always.

The Joy of the Lord is my Strength. He is my Help in time of Need.

I love the Lord regardless the season of time. HE is faithful when I am faithless. His amazing love makes me speechless. I am awed by Him......all the time. It is a previledged relationship ...just me & my Lord. He is good.