5 days apart...another 3 more days before i see my Nadine darling

2 days of meeting in Melbourne ended today. Caught up with Celine but didn't have a chance to get hold of Rio..busy woman with all her social commitments.

I've been on the road, travelling on red-eyed trying to squeeze in time to down load my emails unsuccessfully with the failed VPN connection plus preparation for the presentation and all since last friday and strangely I do not feel exhausted.

Since arrival on Monday, I've been on the streets of Melbourne just browsing and window shopping. Latte here is the bestest in the world. Unbelievably smooth & just the right amount of coffee bitterness and the freshness of milk. You won't believe I drank 1.5litres of milk (almost gulping down just like water) in a day. I just LOVE the freshness of dairy and food here in aussie, can't never get enough of it.

The last time I visited melbourne was when Nadine was still in my tummy! Today she is almost 9mth old. Amazing how time flies and each time when i recall my experience as a mother, i am simply thankful. Here are some photos of my girl...don't you just adore her!! In my most bias opinion, she is the most adorable baby in the universe, just look at those black eyes and the round chubby face, undoubtedly the daughter of Joshua Lim!

Tried to do some shopping for working clothes and shoes since I was back in SG briefly but was definitely put off by the crowds at the mall down orchard road. Shopping is so tiring and I never appreciate how it can be therapeutic for the majority.

Latrobe street, Findlers St, Richmond, St Kilda, Londale St, Southbank, Yarra Valley, Melbourne will always hold a special place in my heart.

Check out more photos of Nadine at Facebook!

To all Nadine's avid fans out there, go to Facebook for more photos of Nadine!!

Nadine my girl

Moving On

Increasingly, my motivation decreases at the workplace.

Don't get me wrong, I really don't think I am citing myself up to be a housewife especially now that Nadine is born. I guess I am running out of inspiration to remain excited in my current role. A matrix organisation does not help especially when you are the only person based in the local office managing such a huge project initiative. Forgotten and neglected are thoughts that run through my mind each day as I battled with unclear instructions, lack of directions and leadership in my scope of work. If you are reading this now and you probably would realise I need a fresh leash of motivation and lots of light to be shed on my path before I get refreshed once again. It is not all that gloom and doom. I just need to be able to cite myself up to know that these are all but organisational behaviours that are common in all enterprise, just the magnitude could be different elsewhere. Interestingly my desire to be be an entreprenuer was rekindled just couple of days ago when josh and I were talking about spreading our options elsewhere. I should really consider that seriously.

Perhaps, it is time to move on.

I am reminding myself : "I am the light of the world and the salt of the earth, so I believe I can make a difference wherever I am planted. " Until such time when the Lord tells me to go, I will be faithful. I just need lots of grace, endurance and motivation.

Star River

Supervising my ayi in the cleaning process while I work. Decided to steal some time to just jott down some thoughts.

Nice place 240sq-m in usable space : 3 bedrooms with 2 attached bathrooms, 1 study and 2 external bathrooms and 1 small ayi's room which i am using it more like a utility room. Very functional kitchen and dinning area. Cosy reading area by the balcony for evening reads and weekend lazing. Living room is spacious and already i've ideas to utilise the space. My only small complain are those chandeliers up in the ceiling, against the walls (miniature size) and everywhere...just far too many of them!!

The TVs and dryer will come in tomorrow. Probably will hop by again before i head on to the airport to pick up Josh's mom at 3pm. Just to oversee and ensure all is good. Well, landlord's secretary will be here anyhow to supervise. Yes! Shoe covers for delivery men is a must. My floor is already sparkling clean!

The apartment faces north so there is literally zero sun in the house. Given that now is approaching summer and the apartment is feeling chilly....we will all freeze during winter! Well, there is always the heating system, so all is good.

Saturday outing when Josh is still working in Cho-nan

740am : The plan was to sleep in a little today since it is a SATURDAY afterall but was pleasantly awakened by Nadine little squirm...she is such a lovable baby. Then again, not too bad, I've already an additional hour of rest as compared to a normal work day.

Decided to be adventurous to bring mom and nadine out for dim sum lunch and to do some light shopping. Josh's mom coming over to BJ this wed and I just wanna ensure there is still enough convenient food for her for breakfast at home....thought of getting some custard buns and wanton. She can make instant noodle wanton soup for brekkie. Reckon she will not get used to BJ idea of soya milk + dough fritters (the low quality & super oily type, not to mention the extremely 'dirty' packaging). My mom is good with just 2 slices of bread with butter and jammy but I reckon josh's mom is not gonna appreciate bread every morning. Well, she is still very much cantonese at heart...her idea of breakfast is congee, fried bee hoon, bah khuet teh and wanton noodles...all of these are NOT available in BEIJING! haha...

Well, nadine was really a good girl today. She did not fuss when we were keeping our fingers crossed in the restaurant. She almost burst into tears when we changed her soiled diapers...Nowadays, I literally 'rejoice' when she pooed. Met a colleague and she marvelled at how nadine resembles josh. Not a surprise comment anymore...hey can somebody tell me something new!!?! But I am not complaining....her daddy has handsome good looks so no reason for me to lament! Lunch was only rmb85 and we still have packed dim sum for tea. Good value for money! You can never get this in Singapore.

Wanted to go to Walmart to do some shopping but nadine is turning grouchy...time for her afternoon nap. Forget about shopping and we headed home. True enough, she knocked out immediately when we reached home. Such a darling.

Dinner was simple fish slice bee hoon soup. I found mackeral fish in san yuan li market!! Great for slice fish soup, fish head curry and most importantly OTAH!

Meeting my landlord tomorrow to do house handover...counting down to our shift to Star River. Our New home. Wanted to go gym today to workout but am really not in the mood. Still hovering around 53kg. The last 3 kg is so tough to shed, stubborn fats! But what's important is I could fit into ALL my jeans already so i don't exactly care that much but the number '53' just disturbs me tremendously. Silly scales, maybe it is not accurate?!?! Who am i trying to kid?! Better be more disciplined...will try to go tomorrow else on MONDAY.

Josh is working over this weekend in Cho-nan for production study. He has been gone for a week already. Should be back by 2May. Texted me this afternoon saying he might be able to come back a day earlier. God is good. Missed him so much...

Getting my act together : NADINE + work

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I am back at work this week. To be exact, my first day at work was 23April and by God's grace, I'm already in my 3rd day of work. So far everything is fine. All arrangement has worked perfectly so far. Praise the LORD!

A typical WORK-day
630am : wake up to feed nadine (provided if she is already awake or is willing to wake up by that time...) before I shower, change, packed breakfast to work. Still gotta eat well and have a balanced diet since I am still breastfeeding. Else I'd have no qualms to go on a zero-carbo diet! Try to squeeze in some time to read the bible as I eat my breakfast (if I have the luxury of time to do so)

730am : I should have my makeup on, changed and ready to go in 15mins..

745am : Kiss nadine goodbye, give my mom some last minute instructions on milk rationing, ask her what she wants for lunch and conceptualise dinner plans!8am : out of the house, to reach office by 815am (That is if I am still at Central Park. Shifting on 3May so I'm counting down too....see how eventful is my LIFE! But God is amazingly good to me, as always!!)

820am : WORK = check emails, host teleconference calls, fire-fight, prepare my travel plans and try to work with my team-mates - that in itself is a whole journal if I want to start complaining (pinching myself and telling myself to be more christ-like - haha!), meetings and all

1130am : STOP everything i do..run down to grab lunch, quickly process what I would want to eat (low fat, low carbo) and what to get for mom

1140am : Driver comes for me. Thank God for driver huang...but he can be more alert at times...still, I am thankful for him. As compared to what other ISEs are getting, he is a God-sent. Well, at least he worked very well with Sun, Pst Tan and team so why should I be complaining!? hehe12noon : reach home!!!!

12-1255pm : Play with nadine, get updates on mom on her latest mischevious actions, asked if she has pooed (see, how that'll thrill me or worries me and sets me in prayer-mode if she doesn't...sigh, she cannot be like mommy...need prune juice! I come against that in the name of Christ!), feed her, express milk and swallow (literally) lunch in 15mins max1pm : run down and get into the car. Get me back to office by 115pm to get ready for conference call at

130pm130pm - 5pm : replicate what i do from 820am - 1130am, nothing unusual, just more intensified i guess

515pm : tell myself - ENOUGH! Time to go home. I reject OverTime in Jesus name!

530pm : Melts when I see nadine waiting for me at the courtyard or at the lobby reception with mom (THANK GOD for MOM!)until 615pm : plays and feed nadine until either she or myself gets tired...reluctantly put her to bed and I go take my shower

615-645pm : Go for quick gym if I am still not dead tired by then...almost occasional now

730pm : dinner

8pm : Nadine wakes up, so next feed!!

9pm : Change diaper, play a little more with her and then coax her to bed

930pm : Me-time! (hopefully...)10pm : Time to express milk

1030pm : GO TO BED

My life has changed and it will never be the same again. BUT! It is ALL for the better. I love my life, I live it to the fullest and I have all the reason to thank God constantly for just EVERYTHING. He is good.

Breastmilk is best

Just rattling..

I am counting down to the day when I start working again...

We made a trip back to China life tower to checkout Fitness First Club and the bathroom amenities so that I could potentially go there to pump milk as and when I require. Thus far, nadine's feeds about 8-10 times a day : 730am, 10am, 1245noon, 3pm, 515pm, 7pm, 845pm, 11pm, 3AM, 5AM. Well, at times she does miss her 1245pm and 11pm feed depending on the length of her sleeping hours but in general...she drinks a lot! Each feed is about 120ml already.

Rather strange for a 2.5months old baby because that is considered far too much. A 2 month old baby should be drinking about 90ml only but She has been on 120ml for the last 1.5mths.

Anyhow back to 'Fitness First'....that option is out. The changing room has a weird smell. It is almost foul smelling. Changing rooms are separated by a flimsy curtain only, no plug socket for my medela electric pump. 6-month membership is rmb 2,800. Decided not to go with it. Then we went to level 5, 10 and 12 to checkout the restrooms and conference room facilities. Conclusion, not conducive once again.

My ultimate option was to purchase an Avent MANUAL pump (which I did) so that it is quieter and less noisy. That makes it less 'obvious' that I am away from my desk, expressing milk. I've to do that to ensure constant milk supply for nadine and for myself to prevent engorgement. Yes, i am willing to go through much inconvenience to ensure nadine has the best. Breastmilk is best. I hope to continue breastfeeding until she is 1 year old. If not, at least 6 months. That will be my best 'life' gift to her to help kickstart her to good health for the rest of her life.

Pregnancy, Labour and CONFINEMENT - the ultimate!

I have been battling with motherhood since I left the hospital on 2Jan. Well, my pregnancy has been a total enjoyment, labour much as it is horribly painful with the never-ending (seemingly so) contractions but gosh, confinement was hellish. Everybody told me that confinement is gonna be tough but i never imagined it to be that tough. The smell of ginger and sesame oil filled the house and there are always the unending cuisine of liver, kidney and just loads of ginger in every plate of my food.

There is constant arguement about if I can drink water, bathe or even wash my hair. I compromised by NOT bathing for the first 5 days and only bathe in super hot and herb-smelling water in the morning coupled with sponge bath in the evening. Can you imagine bathing in super hot water in super humid singapore? It was worse than not bathing at all, trust me. I was not allowed to drink a drop of water but every single day is longan red date ginger tea and even my pee smelled of that! (oops! sorry..).

I had a difficult time and my poor mom also had a difficult time because i was constantly uncomfortable, upset and therefore unhappy. I do appreciate her and all her efforts but I cannot appreciate the works. These old wives myths ought to be crucified. Josh did not have it easy either because i was constantly complaining and having mood swings. There were days where I would just tear (mild post natal blues...i won't call it depression) especially when nadine doesn't sleep much in the night and makes me even more edgy and exhausted. It was exceptionally difficult when Josh has to go back to BJ alone in mid Jan, leaving me & nadine in Singapore. It was such a challenging period.

I would not have survived if not for my brother and sister in law..Roy and Iris. Together with their extremely adorable daughter, my little 6-mth old niece, Germaine, they dropped by nightly to check out me and nadine, making sure that we are comfortable. I drew strength especially from Iris' optimistic and cheerful disposition. Everything seemed almost 2nd nature to her. She is well apt to handle almost any tantrums issues i raised. From hiccups, breastfeeding, choice of diapers, nadine's damp naval and sleeping issues, she has a suggestion for EVERYTHING. She should really go start her FAQ website for parenting. She knows precisely where to get stuff from different baby shops and shopping mall. In short, she is unbelievable!

As I look back, I smiled. I am just thankful to the Lord that it is all over. It is quite amazing that I've survived...Truly, it is not how i started but how i end that matter. Pregnancy marked the start of my whole experience as a mom and confinement in my own definition marked the END of the whole pregnancy experience. After the whole confinement, LIFE really then began for me as mommy to little nadine.

The last 2 months have been INCREDIBLE. I thank the Lord for my mom and that I've overcame. Everything has settled in and we have established a kind-off routine for Nadine.

Counting my blessings each day as I watched her grow up to become more and more like Josh, myself and most of all the image of Christ. She is such a darling.

Rattling on.........

I'm 36wks3days today and am feeling kinda lethargic. Dr Fong gave me 3 days medical leave which started yesteday and ends on thursday. Would be on 1 day leave on Fri to spend the weekend at Sentosa, celebrating our 5th year anniversary together - happily married and totally blissed with my husband, soul mate and best friend. He is the best you can ever pray ask or imagine. I simply adore him.

We have been separated for almost a month since we both came back to SG on 8Nov and he left on 12Nov (his birthday) and back tomorrow (Thank God!!) after his marathon trip to Seoul-HK-Seoul-Guangzhou in the last 3 weeks. Unbelievable schedule sometimes when I check out his itinerary. What to do, this man is absolutely passionate with his job. He loved his work and it totally consumes him when you get him talking about earth-moving equipment and construction machinery. Hydraulic system, machine performance and fuel efficiency, work tools and applications. Much as we both work for the same enterprise but I don't share the same fiery passion. Perhaps it makes a big difference in time tenure. He is 5yrs with the company and I am approaching my 2nd year in 5mths time. How time flies! But I really like working for CATERPILLAR. I have a sense of belonging and I felt like I am contributing to the success of the enterprise in my work. Especially since I am now working in Beijing together with Josh, there is this sense of accomplishment when you see how we help our dealers to streamline marketing and sales processes to better achieve sales performances in the china market where construction projects are heightening. Every part of china is booming with construction projects and i gave me great pride to see a piece of CAT equipment in the job site building towards a 'better tomorrow' in China. The sense of pride is indescrible. It is like a part of you is contributing to the social and economic progression of China, probably the largest or second largest country in the world with almost 1.5 billion people.

I enjoyed watching how Nadine move in my womb. She is rather active especially after a hot drink or a meal. It is almost like me sensing that she is 'absorbing' the food after my meals and enjoying hers! so weird and amazing but really I felt her savouring the food especially each time I enjoyed mine. Great to be back home where you've milk and sandwich served at breakfast time and hot dinner on the table.

Beijing is about -4 today.

Has been raining non-stop here in Singapore. It is not drizzle but real downpour!!! Wanted to go to Tampines Mall to shop for nadine's stuff but it is so heavy that it is impossible to step out without getting drenched. Maybe tomorrow would be a better day to do that.

Aussie Trip August 2007

About an hour drive to Brisbane GoldCoast. Couldn't take the rides for obvious reasons but we had a great time browsing the shops and I'd my first cup of decaf coffee!

Brisbane City where we catched Ms Saigon at the theatre for the evening.






















Bed & Breakfast at Hope manor, old Queenslander House. Marvellous choice! Colonial style room and Fantastic brekkie (as shown on picture), cold and warm breakfasts with at least 4 choices you can choose to have your eggs prepared - omelette, scrambled, poached and fried. Fresh juice, yoghurt and piping hot tea/coffee during cold winter. At Unbelievable price of A$100 per day!

Here is the photo Jo..

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CAFE L'in Contro...brings back many good memories where me, jo, wei, vid and many others hang out whenever we are in Melbourne

Melbourne City : Flinders Street, Meyers, David Jones, Little Street...

The LEXUS we drove in Melbourne. Beautiful car and with the GPS facilities...that meant hassle free driving! Checkout the studio apartment we had in Melbourne. It is a separate facility from the main house. At A$100 per day, you get a fully furnished apartment (heated of course during winter) and well stocked up with touristy guide books, breakfast supplies of almost everything from jams, spreads, bread, fruit, sauces, bacon, eggs, milk,cereals, etc....for a change, we don't get served with the full cooked brekkie but we have everything we need to prepare one. Wonderful!

Queen Victoria Market and Melbourne Museum

Good Review and all went well!

Except for some system and dashboard related issues, all are well. The training delivery in mandarin was great and review feedback from the sales reps, sales managers and marketing team were good.

So happy...so satisfied...sooooo thankful!

Praise God!

Park Apartment 天安豪园 or Central Park Tower 13 #26-02

Now I have another Option at park apartment after viewing Kristine's home about 2 Saturdays ago. I am not sure if that is a good option. 245sq-metres at USD 3,800 and above. Great space and 4bedroom. Gosh! I love the study room & all the exclusivity with the master bedroom and mini walk-in closet. Most of all....the kitchen is amazing! The dry and wet kitchen concept with tons of storage. Even a store area for keeping all the electrical appliances and all. Even a drying area almost like a balcony that is all mine! I could surely use all that space. But really, the price is steep considering what we are prepared to pay. One key minus - no amenities around. Closest supermarket is Jenny Lou which is at Lido, about 10mins walk. Seemed alright but when it comes to cold harsh winter, walking out for 10mins unsheltered & un-chauffeured is not child's play....i don't recommend that!

We've gotten Rosemary to help us source for a 3+1 in phase 3 central park vicinity. Keeping my fingers crossed and praying hard that I can get some really positive news. We viewed a couple of units and really 26-02 and 20-02 at Tower 13 are my favourites. Especially 26-02! Be with me in prayer for 26-02 :

1. Rental will be only at USD2,800 (max)
2. Owner is willing to wait for us until mid Feb to shift in and kickstart the tenancy contract
3. He will agree with us installing the hot bath unit in both washrooms
4. He will accede to all our requests in asking for more appliances and furnishing

We can't move out of my current unit until Feb for 2 reasons. My parents warned me against shifting now because i am pregnant. They freaked out BIG time when I tried to hint to them that that was our intent...so i rather not risk incurring their wrath, especially if my mother in law comes to know of it - dead meat. Anyhow, second reason is because my current tenancy agreement ends in Dec anyhow. So the earliest given all else...it will be in mid Feb before we could move physically. God has been very faithful in all our asking in prayers so I firmly trust that He will "reserve" 26-02 at tower 13 just for us!

I believe the Lord will work miracle!

Mediocrity or Excellence

I have been thinking a lot about this since I was preparing my training materials for CRM SFM Training with one of my china dealers next week in Shanghai.

What amazes me was how people actually spent enormous amount of effort to just NOT have that spirit of excellence. Not in a subsciously manner but extremely aware of the loopholes and areas of deficiency, they choose to be slipshod and almost oblivious to them in a very conscious manner.

It was almost like they had to delibrately avoid work, responsibility and ownership because to have an excellent spirit meant the contrary of course. Taking ownership, owning up to areas of responsibilities, being accountable and working hardly in essence. They choose to focus on the easy sloppy way of "that is how things have always been anyway so why rock the boat?!" Their "comfortable" boat most likely. The time and effort that has gone to do all that could have been better used to just get it done right & doing it well. Nonetheless, it is unarguable that it is easier typically to go with the flow. Truly, anything that is good is found upstream and not downstream. Interestingly, personal growth ( and thus challenge) takes place down under in the valley not at the mountain top. It is under the valley where you meet these "amazing people" that challenges your values, beliefs, standards and character.

I can be like them and be accepted as part of the team (yucks!) or I can choose to be absolutely different, be a sore thumb (irritate people very much at the beginning) and if I perserve...they will appreciate me (prayerfully and hopefully) at the end. Well I know the last part is just so true much as right now, I definitely don't feel appreciated but it doesn't matter. It is against my principle and most of all nature to be slipshod, sloppy and just average. I realise that the price to pay to have the spirit of excellence is popularity and human acceptance. Both of which are nice to have but it is not must have. People appreciate me for who I am not for what I can do "with" them. At least that is what I am telling myself now.

Yes, I will continue to modify my training slides until they are PERFECT! I am believing God for a wonderful training session next week in Shanghai and Kunshan with my audience of 60. Sales reps, sales managers, marketing folks and dealer management. It will be good. My first and last training since I'd be going on maternity leave in mid Dec.

Proverbs 22:29
Do you see a man who excels in his work?
He will stand before kings;
He will not stand before unknown man

I want to stand before my greatest King, Jesus and be proud to say...I have always given my BEST.

New apartment?

175 square-metre.

That is what my current unit is at Tower 9 #37-05, Phase 2 Central Park in downtown Beijing CBD. The lease expires 30 Apr 08.

Therefore we have about 8months to decide if we need a new apartment with Nadine's arrival and my mom staying with us come March 08. My mom is officially retiring (FINALLY!!!) in Dec with Nadine's arrival into this wonderful world. Good for my mom, she is really tired and she has been working so hard all her life. I am so thankful that we are finally able to keep her from working and give her a new task of taking care of her grand-daughter. God is so good! Joshua is great! You cannot imagine how much effort he took (financial management & spreadsheet calculation) painstakingly since 6mths ago to start planning for my parent's retirement. yes, even my dad will be coming over to live with us in BJ come Aug 08. He is hesitant and procrastinating the shift citing reasons like not being able to find a kopi-tiam to drink his kopi-O (thick), eat roti prata, D24 durians and all....so anyhow, he will come in Aug 08. We are still trying to persuade him to come earlier...

Anyhow, back to the apartment.

Yes, we went house-viewing this morning. Also in Central Park. Boy! the new Phase 3 are so beautiful! We saw a couple of units. Particularly, a 4-bedroom was so stylishly designed and the owner had it all set up for the future tenants with details like wine glasses, dinner napkins and all. I was so mesmerised....but the price was even "better" ...estimated to be about US$6000+!!! Siao or what....it blows our budget but still, it was great just to "see".

Then we came to a 3+1. 3 bed room with 1 study. It was PERFECT in our opinion. Rental was lower at USD3,200, 190 square metre, #02 floor plan at level 15 (I think...). Master bedroom came with a drooling setup of 2 washing basins, shower unit and bath tub. We can convert the mini study into Nadine's play room. And...Store Room! (which is exactly what we need) and even the rooms for my parents came with attached bathroom! (If i remember correctly, hormonal changes are making me more forgetful these days...EXCUSES!!)

Now, option 2 is a mini-4bedroom at 218 square metres #07 floor plan. Rental is more steep - USD4,500. Still can consider but really got to think and pray hard before we can take this option. Great setup...even with a balcony and for sure, attached bathrooms in 2 bedrooms inclusive of the master of course. Maid's room which potentially we can convert that into a store room. This is ideal but the rental price, gotta consider again.

We may potentially have an option 3. Cedric & Jean's phase 1 apartment at 188square-metres. Huge master bedroom (big enough for Nadine's cot and play area...yes, that huge). Master bedroom came with a drooling setup of 2 washing basins, shower unit and bath tub. Just that no store room...But rental may be less than USD2,800. Most economical and acceptable too. Available unit but we shall see if his owner is willing to wait 8mths for us.

My Jurong West apartment is only 113 square metres, my existing unit is 175 square metre....so question is : Do We really need another BIGGER apartment?? Godliness with contentment is great gain. We seriously need to plan, think, budget (do more excel spreadsheets) and PRAY for wisdom.

Pray with us.

Waiting for Nadine to arrive...I am 22 weeks today!

Praise the Lord!

I eat all the time

Brekkie
I wake up literally thinking about brekkie...

Usually this is huge : bran cereal with skim milk / ham & cheese sandwich with sundried tomatoes, juice and fruit. I don't like fruit & dairy products at all & I eat almost nothing of these categories of food before I'd na-na but now with her, I swallow it nonetheless!

Lunch
At 1045am, I start concocting my lunch menu

If i had a choice, I would like hokkien fried noodles, sliced fish porridge, bah chor mee poh with lots of chilli & vinegar, lor mee or mee tai bak with ketchup. All these are "impossible food" which i can never find in Beijing, my compromise is "Golden Lake" 金湖茶餐厅 menu of macaroni soup, wanton noodles, seafood hor fun or si-chiap bee hoon.

Tea-snack
By 430pm, I am snacking but nowadays, I disciplined my flesh to eat low fat fruit, banana, carrot sticks or wholewheat crackers only. Still it is EATING

Dinner
I have to eat by 7pm, latest. Anything later than that results in heartburn or indigestion.

Need i go on? I am just eating all the time!

Nadine Lim

59.2kg.

That is what the scale say at 21 weeks this morning when i weigh myself at 8am. Put on another 200g overnight! I am getting rounder and fatter by the day. Never knew i could put on so much weight in this frame of merely 1.59m. I am really praying that all the weight gain will go STRAIGHT to Nadine (yes, that is the name we both like and have started calling her na-na) instead of residing on my arms & thighs! Must go to Marie France if I get grossly out of shape. Quite frankly, anything is worth it for my little girl as long as she is healthy & strong.

Nadine kinda responded well to that name whenever we talk to her. She gets particularly active whenever we watched city harvest service online especially during worship and preaching time. She liked Joyce Meyer's preaching. She was literally leaping last weekend when we attended both services online over the weekend. Nightly when Josh reads proverbs to her, chapter by chapter...she seemed to be listening intently and that brings tremendous excitement and joy to our heart.

The last scan in Beijing United was really much clearer than that in Gleneagles with Dr Fong. She has long limbs and finds great pleasure strangely in staring at her small hands. She seemed to be always in that "reading" position. Twice we saw her in that position instead of lying down. Whatever it is, as long as she is healthy, mom & dad will be glad.

Praying for her to get bigger each day, healthily. Can't wait to see her in late Dec... :)

Rom 4:3

"...Abraham believed God and it was accounted to him for righteousness."

Believe. That is what our christian faith is anchored upon. It is amazing how easily at times we fail to remind ourselves that. We allow the complication of life anxieties, circumstances, pressures and cares of this world choked out this perspective of having to simply believe. God has a wonderful way of reminding us that He alone is sufficient. He is simple, we are the complicated ones. All Jesus wanted was our total trust and allegiance to Him. That was the only thing Abraham held onto - his faith, his belief. He did not waver at the promise of God through unbelief but was strengthened in faith, giving glory to God and being FULLY convinced that what He had promised, He was also able to perform.

What a great man of faith. No wonder God calls Abraham His friend. As I meditate on this, I felt the assurance and peace of God. It is a revelation unveiling before me again.

Beijing International Christian Fellowship (BICF)

May 1 marked the one year anniversary since Josh and I both moved to Beijing.

Strangely it doesn't seemed that long but in the odd sense, it also felt like it has seemed to be much longer. Many reasons goes into it..one being that we have been travelling a lot both within and outside china for work and time just flew by. I made many trips back to Singapore, often for work (again) but each time to replenish my prune juices, trashy women magazines, curries, sauces, otah, personal care products and necessities. Most of all, each trip was a time of rejunvenation at church because spiritually we have been both under-nourished. It is a scary thought to backslide and become nonchalant with the things of God but if we are not careful and many times we found ourselves coming that close to being so cold, so distant. Whom do we have with us now that cell group, members, pastoral care and all seemed so far away, almost non-existent. We are not complaining because we know what is in stored for us when we made the decision to leave and settle into china. Quite on the contrary, we are glad we are here in china for many reasons.

We both left the local chinese church after attending there for several months. The expectations to serve and give are insummountable. There is the outflow but never the inflow where we felt ministered and pastored. Guess that is not the equation for us. After being there and doing whatever we could to help, serve, fellowship and everything....Can you believe that until today, the cell leader has never called us or even initiate to spend time with us. Even when we decided to leave, we have to take the initiative to arrange a dinner with her, pick her from her home and be accountable for the reasons why we choose to exit. I think the decision is correct.

Now, We have attended BICF for the last 7weeks already. We are not comparing but we like it there better. I am scheduled to be serving in the worship team this sunday and I am excited to be able to sing for the Lord. To start with doing the most insignificant so that I can start feeling part of this church family that I am yearning to belong to. I signed up for cell group with BICF in my 2nd week and they are planning on it now for our allocation. I am looking forward, really. It has been a year of almost going nowhere and I cannot imagine how Moses did 40yrs with the children of israel. Had it not for the internet service, Joshua's constant encouragement, Jo's friendship and above all, God's faithfulness we would have parched to death spiritually. But thank God, in all things....He made all things beautiful in His time.

Hopefully things will work out well in BICF and we will be planted in the house of God. This time, properly nurtured.

平谷Outing with Matthew